Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots

Does anyone else find Jello to be incredibly sexy? The way it wiggles like a sensitive nipple when it’s even gently touched or the way it can gyrate back and forth like Marilyn making her entrance in ‘Some Like it Hot’ or like the ass of a running back powering down the field for a touchdown. Jello can throw down and have a good time and still retain an aura of dignity and even innocence – admirable qualities indeed. What better way to honor Jello’s architectural stamina than by adding to it the social lubrication of alcohol. I am surprised at the number of individuals who have never had a Jello shot – never experienced the delights of teasing a cool refreshing shot out of a plastic cup with only the aid of the tongue. The playful licking and slurping followed by the heat of booze sliding down the back of the throat.

There are three kinds of Jello shots depending on the occasion :

1. Elegant – elegant Jello shots are appropriate for daytime activities such as luncheons, happy hours and brunches. Simply prepare according to the instructions and replace  1/3 of the cold water with the booze of choice.
2. Decadent – decadent Jello shots are recommended for evening events such as holiday parties, game nights, etc. Prepare these by replacing 1/2 the cold water with booze.
3. Depraved – depraved Jello shots are for those special late night events such as orgies, hook ups and assorted scandalous capers. Replace all the cold water with booze.

A proper Jello shot can give one both culinary foreplay and penetration. Well played Jello, well played.