‘Do I dare to eat a peach’ is a line from one of my favorite poems by T.S. Eliot. I was reminded of this quote by the peach-like fuzz on the balls of a sweaty Indiana University grad student I licked while on the way to a one man show on John Wilkes Booth, the assassin of President Lincoln. The delicate fur was the only hair on his body (the student not Mr. Booth who was reputed to be rather hirsute). His legs and chest were smooth like midwest wheat. He shared a small apartment with three other college students and the place smelled like sex. How much modesty had been abandoned in those four small rooms? Copious amounts, I suspect.  Once we completed our task, I strolled back to my car enjoying his terroir as it lingered on my palate like a fine vintage. If, on that fateful night in April of 1865, some kind soul had seen the distress in Mr. Booth’s eyes, gently taken away his pistol and licked his balls, would a great national tragedy may have been averted? Alas, we shall never know.


I use my scone mix to make a moist and ridiculously easy topping for peach cobbler. The key is to use very ripe peaches. When you can peel it with just your fingers and the flesh slides away effortlessly, the peaches are ripe.

Place the peeled peaches in the baking dish. You may add a little sugar or lemon juice to enhance the flavor but if your peaches are ripe, let them work solo.


Combine two cups of all-purpose flour , 1/4 cup of sugar, 1/2 teaspoon salt, 2 1/2 teaspoons of baking powder, and 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda. Whisk until all ingredients are well mixed together.

If you are making a small cobbler, only use enough of the topping as you need to cover the cobbler. Combine with a little unsalted butter and milk to the consistency of cake batter. Add the milk slowly. (If using the entire mix for a large cobbler, stir in one cup of milk and 6 tbsp of butter).

Bake on 350 for 25 minutes. Serve with a side of vanilla ice cream and ponder the delights of ball licking and the horror of civil war.

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