Olympic Glory and BBC dreams

All eyes are on London for the 2012 Olympics and I can think of no city more worthy of the attention than the venerable British capital.  London is a city filled with history – Henry VIII and Elizabeth I, the Regency and Restoration, the Victorians and Edwardians, Churchill, Thatcher, and the Spice Girls. For the last 90 years, this history has been covered impartially and diligently by the BBC, the British Broadcast Corporation. Established in 1922, the BBC has kept Britain and the world abreast of the latest news. During the darkest days of World War II, the BBC’s broadcasts offered light to a Europe darkened by war. Deeply ingrained in the British psyche, it is referred to affectionately as the Beeb. The service has covered tragedy and triumph, royal weddings and most recently the Queen’s Jubilee. It is only fitting then that the BBC shares it acronym with another institution that offers hope to the hopeless, inspiration to the lost, and joy to millions – I am of course referring to Big Black Cock. When I stop to think of the times BBC & BBC have informed, entertained, titillated, masturbated, and thrilled me, I become as emotional as that champion Olympian who stands atop the winner’s podium as the gold medal is placed around their neck and the anthem of their nation majestically plays for all the world to hear. Chills practically gallop down my spine. From the sailor with the nipple rings, to the marine with the pecs the size of two Christmas hams, to the college student into spanking, to the Cracker Barrel waiter with the killer smile, to the manager of the Bojangles whose BBC tasted like the chicken and biscuits he proudly served, to the Express employee whose name I don’t remember but whose BBC I shall never forget, I salute you. And to all the BBC I have yet to experience, I shall honor your spirit, lick your balls, and taste your shaft.  As the world celebrates champions from around the globe for athletic excellence, I say let us pause and remember the contributions of two inestimable institutions – hung black men and impartial news reporting with a British accent.

For Olympic watching or a post-BBC snack, I like the traditional Kentucky spread made from cucumbers called Benedictine. They are a delicious take on the traditional British tea time tradition of cucumber sandwiches. Simply take one large cucumber, peel it and slice down the middle on each side to avoid the seeds. Grate it over a thin mesh collander and wait until the liquid has drained off.  In a food processor, combine with 8 ounces of cream cheese, two tablespoons of grated onion, one tablespoon of mayonnaise and a dash of salt. Pulse the food processor for several seconds untill all ingredients are combined into a creamy deliciousness. Seve with slices of French bread that have been toasted on a grill or a grill pan on the stove. The hints of charcoal and the cool creaminess of the cucumber spread will make you feel as though you’ve won the gold.