Alexander Graham Bell, hairy chests, and text sex

Alexander Graham Bell, the Scotsman who invented the telephone, died on this date in 1922. As we all know, his invention led to cellphones which led to text messaging which naturally led to sexting and even more naturally, led me to S, my first sexual encounter brought to me be the good people of Sprint and their texting technology. I embrace technology wearily. As a book lover, I mourn the decline on the printed word. On cold nights, I want to curl up with a good book or a bad boy, not a Kindle reader so the fact that technology in the form of texting can get me laid is some consolation. S, my entrée into sex via text, worked at a chain clothing store in the mall. As I was unaccustomed to texting at the time, the pterodactyl-like sound my cellphone made when it received S’s text startled me. His message did not. It was a stormy evening and poor S suffered a flat tire on his way to my place. He arrived tired, wet, and as deflated as his Goodyear. I removed him from his wet clothes and put his tan, furry body into my warm bed. I ran my fingers through his dark and thick chest hair. I felt like an explorer in the Black forest of Central Europe searching for truffles as my fingers found his pink nipples. His libido and spirits were further raised by the extended adventures of my hands and mouth. By the time the storms passed, we had achieved our happy ending and thanks to the valiant efforts of Triple A, S was back on the road with a smile on his face and bite marks on his ass.

On stormy evenings, I find nothing more appealing than a good book and a stiff man. When the man is unavailable, a stiff drink will do too. Four Roses bourbon is made for indulgent sipping while accompanied by a thrilling read. Four Roses has notes of  honey and maple syrup so it also goes blazingly well with pancakes. For the read, I recommend ‘The Winter Queen’ by Boris Akunin. Escape into the cloak and dagger world of Imperial Russia as an elegant and gripping murder is unraveled. Good literature and bourbon cannot solve all of our problems but it can knock out at least 92% of them. Enjoy!


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