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Winston Churchill, gin martinis, and men who won’t get off

‘It will be long, it will be hard, and there will be no early withdrawal’ are not just words I proclaim to various men on weekends and every other Tuesday, no, they are the famous fighting words of Winston Churchill as he rallied the British people against Nazi aggression during World War II. The Battle of Britain began on this date in 1940. The odds against Britain surviving were steep – France had fallen, the Nazi armies were just across the English Channel – Hitler could see the White Cliffs of Dover. He unleashed the Luftwaffe onto the British people – and they resolutely told him to go fuck himself. Due to Winston’s leadership and thrilling oratory, the people of Britain did not waver, they did not panic as bombs rained down on London, they remained calm and carried on – much like one should when being topped by an exceptionally large piece – exhale, remain steadfast, victory will be achieved. I idolize Winston Churchill – he was a unparalled wartime leader and he did it with panache. He directed the war from his bed, clad in  pajamas with a cigar in one hand and a glass of Scotch in he other. He is a towering figure of history and each of us owe him a debt of gratitude. I want to reclaim his words – they are not just for wartime but for all time. When in those moments of despair when booze, blowjobs, or XTube has failed to raise your spirits, when the guy won’t cum, or you can’t get none, when the cake won’t bake or the trick done flaked, I give you the oratory of Winston Churchill. Never surrender.

“Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of the Gestapo and all the odious apparatus of Nazi rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

Mr Churchill favored gin martinis. His brand was Plymouth’s and his recipe was as simple as it was elegant – simply wave the bottle of gin around the vermouth. Pour the gin into a martini glass and drink. He also favored the patented ‘hand on the hip, don’t fuck with me’ pose which he carried off with exceptional aplomb.

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