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Constitutional freedoms, K’s sexy armpits, and hot dogs

The 19th amendment to the Constitution went into effect on this date in 1920 granting women the right vote – another major step forward in our long march towards equality for all. The 19th amendment ranks right next to the 21st which repealed Prohibition as my favorite Amendment. While far from being perfect when it was first ratified in 1787, the US Constitution is one of the wonders of the modern world – it ranks alongside Reggie Bush’s abs, Danell Leyva’s nipples, and Rick Pitino’s pressure defense. The flexibility of the Constitution granted to it by the Founding Fathers makes it almost a living and breathing document. As society continues to evolve towards a better future, the Constitution will enshrine the ethos of our nation – all of us are created equal. The day when humanity finally realizes this simple idea will be a glorious one. Politics has always had the ability to stir my loins.  During the  early days of the 2008 Presidential election, I found myself seated next to K at a volunteer meeting. He wore a sleeveless t-shirt and whenever he moved his warm, I spied his black armpit hair. He began stuffing and sealing envelopes of campaign literature. Each time he raised the envelope to his lips to seal it, I stole a look at his armpit; as his arm went up and down, first picking up an envelope and then laying it on the table, I imagined his armpit hair was winking at me. I become mesmerized by that patch of dark fur. We exchanged numbers, then text messages, then saliva.  K and I shared a passion for fellatio and foreign policy. He said the US could learn a great deal about energy independence from South America while I went to his south of the border. His equatorial guinea was furry and delicious –  like a ripe kiwi waiting to be tasted and just as refreshing. As we come upon another election cycle, I always look forward to voting. Each time I vote and do my civic duty, I can still taste K and his furry kiwi.

After oral sex with a civic-minded American, I like to enjoy one of our nation’s pastimes – a hot dog. I top my dog with a simple homemade alternative to chili. Cook hamburger (season with salt and pepper) and diced white onions until the meat is fully cooked. Lower the heat on the stove and add in a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce and ketchup. Stir until fully incorporated into the hamburger. Enjoy!  

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