Tolstoy’s birthday, smooth balls, and a woman named Anna

This has been a weekend for birthdays – Star Trek yesterday and today, Leo Tolstoy, who was born on this date in 1828. I love Russian literature as much as hung black men so today is a special date. Tolstoy captured not only the Russian spirit but the human spirit. His characters may have lived in the 19th century but their problems with money, men, religion, politics, and trying to find good help make them timeless.  G was a fellow fan of Russian culture. We discussed how modern the character of Anna Karenina was in attempting to balance personal happiness, motherhood, and furs. Tolstoy’s depiction of Napoleon’s epic retreat back to France, after the Russians burned Moscow to the ground before giving it to him, is vivid and heartbreaking. Fortunately, G’s retreat with me to the bedroom while quite fiery resulted in a much happier conclusion. I licked his furry chest and nipples before descending to his dick and quite significantly sized balls. They were almost perfectly round and reminded me of those specially crafted ice cubes one encounters in hip hotel bars. I was as entranced by his globes as Anna was with Count Vronsky. They were smooth and he quivered each time I nuzzled against them. He gladly returned the favor cementing an evening both intellectually and sexually stimulating.

The last passage of Anna Karenina is one I turn to often – the eloquence, like its author is truly timeless.

‘I shall still be as unable to understand with my reason why I pray, and I shall still go on praying; but my life now, my whole life apart from anything that can happen to me, every minute of it is no more meaningless, as it was before, but it has the positive meaning of goodness, which I have the power to put into it.’

To accompany large smooth balls or Russian literature, one simply has to have vodka. The initial jolt followed by the warm sensations as the liquid makes its way down the throat is Russia itself – mysterious, intimidating, and glorious

Cover of "Anna Karenina (Signet Classics)...

Cover of Anna Karenina (Signet Classics)

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Star Trek’s birthday, geek sex, and healthy granola

‘The Man Trap’ is not my yet to be released how-to guide but rather the first broadcast episode of Star Trek which aired on this date in 1966. The world has not been the same since. In that first episode, a salt vampire terrorizes the crew of the USS Enterprise as Kirk, Spock, and McCoy race to save the day. This trinity – the logic of Spock, the emotion of McCoy, and the action of Kirk – formed the heart and soul of Star Trek. They, along with Uhura, Scotty, Sulu, and Chekov would solve any problem, tackle any challenge, and never give in to a no win scenario. B was a fellow Trekkie from Chicago, a beefy, hairy slab of geekaliciousness with biceps and a dick as big as the Mutara Nebula. We met one very cold winter’s night and discussed our love of Captain Kirk, The Next Generation and before you could say engage, we had lowered our shields, erected a containment beam and my warp drive was thrusting forward into his milky way. We soon parted and B resumed his own trek home to Chicago – we were safe in knowing the universe was safe from horniness for one more day.

After sex with a fellow Starfleet Officer, I like to make a healthy granola to recharge my Dilithium crystals and make ready for my next adventure. Take two cups of rolled oats, 1/4 cup of apple juice, and one tbsp of honey. Combine together until oats are coated (be careful to not oversaturate). Spread evenly on a cookie sheet and bake at 300 degrees for 20 minutes on each side. When finished baking, add nuts, seeds, or dried fruit. Live long and Prosper!

Kirk with Spock's "mirror" counterpa...

Kirk with Spock’s “mirror” counterpart, From the Star Trek episode “Mirror, Mirror”. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Beam me up Scotty…..and boldly go where many men have gone before….

Star Trek: The Original Series

Star Trek: The Original Series (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For me and millions of Star Trek fans around the world, today is a special day – the birth of Trek creator Gene Roddenberry. His imagination and humanity created the most endearing and enduring franchise in the history of popular culture. Star Trek has thrived for over 45 years, 5 television series, 11 feature films (with a 12th on the way next spring), conventions, and merchandise of all manner. Through his vision, I learned to not just timidly go but to boldly go where no one has gone before. He battled racism, sexism, and all forms of intolerance and provided an example of what humanity can achieve when we move past our prejudices and embrace the future. We are equal – black, white, mixed, alien, cut, and uncut in the Star Trek universe; we are judged on our merits, not our DNA. Gene’s overall message was simple – hope – it will not always be this way – it will get better. He also created my childhood idol –  James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise. Captain Kirk embodied all the traits needed for success in life – a killer ass, a refusal to surrender even with the bleakest of odds, and he was extremely horny. Captain Kirk got laid in one out of every three episodes of the Original Series and he still kept his ship and his crew out of danger. His most memorable romance was with Joan Collins in the series’ most celebrated episode – ‘The City on the Edge of Forever’. Through the message of Star Trek, I learned to embrace diversity – black, white, Asian, Latino –  men of every conceivable race, color, and religion have beamed into my transporter room. And when First Contact is made with Vulcan, I am going to pon farr with one of our pointy eared celestial neighbors. Captain Kirk also illustrated that when the odds are against you, gamble, roll the dice, and let them fly high – there is no better motto for life, sex, or imagination. Thank you Gene Roddenberry. I have been and always shall be in your debt.